Rising above fear, soaring to obedience

He said he felt unworthy. He felt he should say nothing until he earns his master’s degree. A Pittsburgh Theological seminary student, Matt has been interning at a small start up church in Pittsburgh.

Funny thing is, I felt exactly the same way. I was just the person sitting behind the electric piano, already frustrated with myself for missing several notes as I accompanied a much more accomplished acoustic guitar player. I felt unworthy to be playing the piano.

I feel unworthy writing about scripture and my faith.

My heart’s desire and passion is to write material that will bring glory and honor to God and share the Gospel. I love reading, studying and meditating on scripture and writing about the ways I can apply it to my life or any other Christian’s life. But what training, credentials, or experience do I have to interpret scripture? Seminary is not in my future. For now I rely on my Life Application Bible commentary and Bible History: Old Testament (Alfred Edersheim.)

Fears and anxieties attack my ideas as soon as my fingers start tapping my keyboard. Do I really understand these verses . . . I’m not living out what I write . . . Who will I offend . . . Who is actually reading this nonsense?

My writing is further delayed by my 10-month-old son. I’m not blaming him, yet I’m still struggling to find the balance between mom and writer.

Faced with a blank computer screen, screaming baby and a tired husband, God led me to this particular start up church this particular Sunday under the guise of “helping with piano” to listen to an intern preach exactly what I needed to hear.

Matt felt unworthy but remained obedient. He made many excellent points with Acts 5: 12-16, but what stands out in my mind is the “Parable of Ducks.” In “duck” town, all the ducks waddled to their church. The duck preacher told them they had wings. After the preacher finished, all the ducks waddled back home. To me, flying represents living a life of total surrender and obedience to God.

God has given all of us the ability to soar above our feelings and obstacles so that we can obey Him. Some of us know this logically, but are too scared to try. Some of us have tried to fly, but have been bullied or made mistakes. Some of us don’t even know we have wings. We still need to accept the wonderful gift of salvation.

A battle is waging for our minds. The Enemy is determined to keep us grounded and paralyzed in fear and unworthiness. He hates it when we try – or even have a desire – to fly. It’s not about how much we know or don’t know, how well prepared we feel. It’s about staying obedient under God’s anointing and trusting Him for the outcome.

Thank you, Matt, for flying last Sunday. Thank you for staying obedient through your fears.





Published by Digging Deeper

I have a TESOL degree from Iowa State University and taught for three years at Kansas State University and one year at Chatham University in Pittsburgh while earning a Master's degree in Fine Arts in creative writing. I am currently a stay at home mom for two children and have returned to Des Moines, Iowa, where I grew up. Religion has always been a part of who I am but only in the last 10 years have I considered myself a genuine Christian. In my writing I explore issues of faith and how it relates to living life, sharing my faith and my personal journey of growth in my daily walk with God, so I'm not a theologian or a seminary student, but just enjoying uniting faith with a love for writing.

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